There's no more Wriggly. I lost him today.
Lisa once told me that a Mom would know when the time has come to end the life of her 4 legged child.
People used to give "subtle" suggestions that I should put him down because he is very old already.
Back then, I would question myself, Why should I do that?! He could still eat, walk and do his business.
But for the past few days, he stopped eating, drinking water and doing his business.
I would feed him 3 or 4 pieces of pellets and then he would lie down and stop eating.
I know that the time has come. I already made my decision last night.
"Wriggly, if you want to rest already, it's ok."
I was with Jing and her family today and told her my plans of putting my baby to sleep.
Jing asked me if I was going to hold a wake for Wriggly. I said no, out of sight and out of mind is better.
But then she asked, "What about the abuloy!?!" She knows me so well.
I love abuloys!
My mom's wake was held in Forbes in 2006. I was wondering why I was only getting mass cards and flowers. I asked my sister, "Ate? How come in the movies people give abuloy to the bereaved family members? Why am I not getting any?????!!"
And then my Ate replied, "Then we should have held the wake at Funeraria Veronica in Pasay if you were after the abuloy!"
That's what I love about my family and friends. They know what to do or say in time of my emotional upheaval.
The worst thing you can say to me is, "Are you ok? How are you?!"
Obviously, I'm NOT! But I will be.
I saw some friends in Rockwell today and I cannot even talk to them because if I do, I would burst into tears. I was wearing shades until it was night time because my eyes were so red and swollen from crying.
To lift my spirits, I ate a bar of chocolate, had dinner at Healthy Shabu Shabu, watched Spectre and bought my favorite Raffles Sour Cream and Cheddar potato chips.
For a few hours, my tears stopped falling.
My friends and family wanted to be with me to comfort me.
But I just want to be alone.
Let me lick my wounds in private. Allow me to grieve. Allow me to cry without the fear of embarrassing myself.
But I thank you all for the love and concern. I will be jolly and happy in a few days.
Even my FB friends expressed their sympathy in my time of sorrow.
I could not understand before what it means when they say to help comfort a friend in her or his time of distress, just let the person know you are there for her/him. You don't have to do or say anything, just assure the person you are there.
Now I understand.
As I was about to lay Wriggly down on the metal table at the hospital, he raised his head and kissed me twice near my lips...
As if to say....
I love you...
It's time to say goodbye, Lia.